THE RUSTY TROMBONE

Ain't That America

2009-09-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

The Culture Club

I scoff at discourses that begin by quoting definition from Webster’s dictionary. So instead I shall do something completely radical and quote my favoured source on matters relating to the English language.

“culture, n.

7. a. Chiefly as a count noun. The distinctive ideas, customs, social behaviour, products, or way of life of a particular society, people, or period. Hence: a society or group characterized by such customs, etc. “

~ The Oxford English Dictionary, Online Edition

Just a little while ago I had an interesting discussion with a friend, that led to some heated debate and made for some exciting and stimulating exchange of ideas and opinion.

The spark that lit the fire arose from a statement made on a facebook profile status message (where else!) a few weeks ago:

“heard a wonderful comment on America- frozen yogurt is not culture :)”

This was of course meant in good humour, by way of poking fun at a people the way we would at any other community – Sikhs, Jews, French, Blondes, Nerds, to name a few. Harmless. However, my immediate response to this was: why not?

Now, lets get this straight. I do not like living in America. I find their ways odd, and unpleasantly so. The arrogance is palpable as you walk past them on the street. The lifestyle I find unhealthy. Their sense of aesthetics I do not understand (in fact, to me it seems non-existent. The focus seems to be more on practicality – but then that’s the culture, yes? But more on that ahead).

The American Dream has long since been shattered. Freedom, Democracy and Liberty all exist within the paradigm of the American mind. A mind attuned to shutting out the existence of The Rest of The World. It is the home of the brave soldiers that fight unjust wars on foreign soil, and the land of the free market greed, causing global financial crises. And let us dispel myths of them being an open-armed, accepting society. Racism, sexism and homophobia abound (albeit in a subtle fashion, as all three forms of discrimination are outlawed). And welcoming? Joe the Plumber is not interested in being friends with Apu Bangladeshi who owns the neighborhood 7-11. In fact, Joe probably has one hand on his holster every time he sees Apu. Happiness is a warm gun, isn’t it? And has anyone ever tried to apply for an American visa? Phew!

However, in spite of all of this, I do not deny them the label “American culture”. (Besides, I am being way too harsh . Frustration probably brought on by living in SUV-WalMart-Taco-Bell Suburbia). Of course there must be a ‘culture’ that exists here, right? How else would we be able to tell apart a Californian from a New Yorker? How else would we be able to tell apart an American from an Indian or a Chinese or an Englishman (besides an IQ test J )?

The ideals of Democracy, Freedom and Liberty are the founding philosophies of this nation, yes? So of course, here we have a philosophy. Ideas upon which a civilization has evolved from scratch (after doing away with those damned Red Indi---err, Native Americans, of course).

I am however referring to the more tangible forms of culture – traditions, customs, cuisine, music, art, language. Traditions such as the Thanksgiving meal. Music, such as Jazz or Rock ‘n’ Roll. (Note: Not only did the Beatles not invent Rock ‘n’ Roll, but were greatly influenced by American artists such as Buddy Holly – then considered in the UK as ‘blasphemous’ music and highly inappropriate). And entertainment: Can anyone truly claim that Hollywood style blockbusters are not a cultural phenomenon? And if the Sistine Chapel is art then so is Andy Warhol, Georgia O’Keeffe, Grant Wood and Edward Hopper. If Wordsworth and Tagore are poets, then so are Whitman and Frost. And I would not consider these people to be ‘American’ if their art did not reflect their environment and surroundings, but it does! One look at an Edward Hopper painting (see attached) would tell you that this is undeniably America. Tell me, is that not culture?

Yes, fast-food, teen-pregnancies and gun violence are also part of American culture. Much like desi ghee, sati, child marriage, caste system and communal tension are a way of life in India. No society is perfect, but neither is any society defined by its imperfections. A culture is the sum of it parts. FroYo + Democracy = America.

Another issue that was raised was that of history. Cultures take thousands of years to emerge. America is a fledgling society that has yet to earn the cultural label. In my opinion, the world around is evolving much too fast to set such timelines. Columbus arrived in 1492, The Pilgrims sometime in the 1600s, American Revolution in 1776. Long enough ago, don’t you think? I think the world and ‘culture’ and even ‘cultural heritage’ for a child born today is so different from someone born in say 1984 (yours truly). Did you hear the story of the two girls lost in a storm drain in Australia? They had a cellular phone with them but did not call for help. Instead they chose to update their facebook profile! How’s that for Cultural Revolution? So with respect to the exponential rate of evolution of human behaviour I think Civil War, The Founding Fathers, two World Wars, Vietnam, MLK, Space Race, Cold War, Gulf War, 9/11 and the election of Barack Obama are enough history to put America on the cultural map of the world.

I understand that I am coming off sounding like a USA-lover. Well, let it be said that my friend and I agreed to disagree, until we realized that we were both on the same side of the fence. In his words: “If this is American culture, I want no part of it”. Well said.

Now excuse me while I return to my cheeseburger and fries.

Get Right Back To Where We Started From

2009-08-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

Been on hiatus for a while now. Writer's block with just a dash of laziness. Shall get back on track soon.

"Feel Like Letting My Freak Flag Fly...

2009-07-02T11:46:00.001-07:00

...yes, i feel like i owe it to someone" ~ Crosby, Stills and Nash.

July 2, 2009.

The Delhi High Court has ruled that homosexual intercourse between consenting adults is not a criminal act.

I can't stop smiling.

Must Be A Quarterlife Crisis

2009-07-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Written June 23, 2009.

Stony Brook.

So this is what a quarterlife crisis feels like. A week ago the Dizzy Gillespie album i have playing would have been a background soundtrack as i went about my chores. It would have faded...diffused into oblivion somewhere in its journey between the speakers and my ears. A pleasant hum to enjoy while getting by in life. Tonight i hear each note, each beat, each glorious rise and each sombre fall of the trumpet. I am now 25 (which, i believe, is the new 30). Its time to take stock of the time gone by and scramble to grasp at the rapidly ebbing tide of opportunity. Try to keep a wave upon the sand, if you like. Or is that a myth? Is one ever too old? Well, one can never tell i guess. Just gotta live it. The 25th birthday has taught me to be thankful, has reminded me that laughter is essential to survival and reinforced the power and desire to love. So, while i may not be overjoyed by the idea of turning 25, i am left feeling hopeful, excited and, above all, optimistic. Who'da thunk it, eh?

What next? Eh, live and learn.

Enough of the gloom and doom. Send in the clowns!

Annie, are you OK?

2009-06-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

The first MJ song i remember listening to was Remember The Time in 1991. The album Dangerous had just been released in India and my sisters would listen to it all the time. Just to set the mise en scene, I also recall their bad hairdos, denim jackets and a poster of Stallone on the wall. Somewhere in the corner a bright red boombox would blare MJ while they pretended to cram for their board exams. I think we actually owned a videotape of Grammy nominated music that included MJ, Kenny Rogers and Samantha Fox! So anyway, this was also the time that cable TV was introduced in India - the advent of MTV - which is why i remember this song so vividly. The Egypt-Eddie Murphy video had me entranced. Then came the Black or White video with Macaulay Culkin - I loved Home Alone so of course i loved this one as well. At the time i knew nothing of Billie Jean, Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, The Jackson Five. For godsake, i didn't even know he was black!

In 1995 I went to boarding school. Between then and now the sexual abuse allegations had happened, and the marriage to Lisa Marie. I had no clue, of course. There was this kid at school who was obsessed with MJ and he introduced me to the wonderful world of Dirty Diana. I remember the rumour mills abuzz with talk of people dropping dead of fright during screenings of Thriller. I remember singing Heal the World for some school function. And, ohmigod, trying to do The Moonwalk!!! Sometime in 1997, I think, he performed in Bombay and the news would show reruns over reruns of interviews with a girl who refused to take a shower because MJ had danced with her on stage.

And then came HIStory. All i wanna say is that they dont really care about us - what an anthem. The music was so good, that as a teenager i failed to notice that the man was getting paler by the day. Divorce, Children, Second Marriage, Below Par albums. They all came and went. One day in 2001 I was flipping through Time magazine at the library and was horrified to see the picture of a man that the magazine claimed was MJ. White as a ghost, weird twisty nose and whatnot. This man used to be a Colossus (quite literally, in that music video).

From then on it was all downhill. His life was a joke. The trial. The child-dangling. Neverland. The Bashir interview. The exile. Blood on the dancefloor.

He faded into the past. Once an icon, now a miserable old Peter Pan.

Today, he died. Yes, we make jokes - at least I do (Eg: Today MJ died. Jolie-Pitt and Madonna in custody battle for the kids). But its a reminder of times gone by and a time to take stock of life - because when The King of Pop dies we take a moment to stop and mourn, and think of the past. MJ was someone who has always been there and someone who I thought would live forever. Apparently not. He died at the age of 50. Last week I turned 25. Huh.

Food, glorious food.

2009-06-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

Nope, there was nothing glorious about the show. No Padmalakshmi, no Tom Colicchio. It was a gimmicky spinoff of the real thing. Well known chef-owners of pocket pinching establishments take each other on to win donations for their favourite charity. No drama, no tension, all very good humoured. Bah! Even the judges were lame - obviously they weren't going to trash the plates served to them by celebrity chefs. So instead they had ludicrous stunts like making dessert for girl scouts and cooking in a dorm room. What a letdown.

There was a moment i smiled to myself though. Hard-as-nails NYC food critic, Gael Greene, said 'cinnamom' on national television. Tee hee.

Dance, ballerina, dance.

2009-05-31T13:05:00.000-07:00

... and do your pirouette in rhythm with your achin' heart

NYC Ballet. Lincoln Center. May 31, 2009. Hallelujah Junction.

Wilkommen. Bienvenue. Welcome.

2009-05-29T20:15:00.001-07:00

...and I am your Master of Ceremonies.